The Faux Coon

The Maine Coon is a very unique and very popular breed of Keetain. They're big, they're handsome, they're smart, dog-like and big old goofballs. They fetch their toys, head butt, help you with everything, tag along wherever you go. They mature slowly and aren't fully grown until four years old. They are not known to be lap cats but make up for it with good, solid, loyal companionship.

This purebred Maine Coon, Reilly, belongs to Louis and Sally Rousseau. She is a beauty!

The Maine Coon Cat is an American breed, started in, well, Maine, one would guess. It was not created in some breeder's cockapoo gene lab; it arose purely out of natural selection. Of course, breeders have tweaked the form and shape for consistent ACA standards. Some of these include the shape of the face, length of the hair, bushiness of the tail, etc.

And tastes, they do change.

Witness the difference between a Siamese from the '40s . . .

Modeled by the beautiful Olivia de Havilland

Ramses II had a cat just like this whom he named "Moses, Moses, Moses!"

. . .  and one today.

Keaton is a throwback to the good old days. He came to me as an orphan, so we don't know what his parents were.  He cannot be called a Maine Coon because he doesn't have the piece of paper from a breeder saying he is. But just as Italian Prosecco is the same thing as Champagne but only Champagne from Champagne can be called Champagne, Keaton is a pretty good generic equivalent of the Coontain, which is supposedly "extinct" outside of the breeder world.  I don't share that belief, btw.

A big bowl o' cat

There are some physical similarities between Keats and the Coontains. At two, he's a big boy; fourteen pounds and still growing.  He is so heavily built that when he jumps up on the cat condo, it sways and groans with the force of impact.

He has dense fur between his footpads and toes, the trademark ear tufts, and a long layered coat for those cold northeastern winters. He got ripped off in two departments. First, he didn't get the famous fluffy tail, but it's a perfectly nice tail. I especially love the little white dot at the very tip of it. 

At four months, Keaton was chinless and remains so

Second, Keaton alas has no chin. He is the chinless wonder. All he has is a knob of flesh masquerading as a chin.

Maine-ly (nyuk nyuk) Keaton's appeal is his  attitude. He is like a dog, a very smart dog. If you are the only one home he will follow you throughout the house, dogging your every step. He insists on “helping” with everything you do by lying on it, in it, or between you and it. Create a vacuum, i.e. take a drawer out of a dresser, open a closet or cabinet, clear a shelf, and *poof* he's right there filling the void.  Horror vacui in the extreme. You often find him waiting outside of any room you're in when you open the door, or lying in front of the door to any room you are about to enter, or blocking the door of the room you're about to leave. He knows where you're going before you do. This is a waste of a perfectly good feline sixth sense; he would better serve humanity if he could sense earthquakes or tsunamis before they happen.

Keaton is the leader, guardian and protector of the other cats. Julia is wont to go into any open cabinet and is sometimes unwittingly closed in it. I always know when this happens because Keaton will be sitting there looking at the cabinet and then at me, then the cabinet, then me. “What's wrong, Lassie? What? Timmy fell down the well? Take us to him!” Sebastian meanwhile is nowhere to be found; that's how much he cares about his sister. He pays the price for his apathy by being roundly pwned, Jack Bauer fashion, early and often by the (chinless) Master.

Speaking of cabinets, the Keatonator has actually learned not only how to open one, but also to take therefrom a tightly shut Rubbermaid container of treats, open it, and snarf the contents.  Several times.  He is not a Hemmingway, but somewhere he is harboring an opposable thumb.  I know it.

Then there are just plain Keatonisms. He loves his laser pointer. He will intensely stare at his preciousssssss rrraser rrointer hanging on the wall and then intensely stare at you until you get it down and play with him already. I discovered he has a taste for sweets when I left a tray of freshly iced cookies unattended once and came back to find one single cookie licked clean.  He actually looks forward to having his teeth brushed because he finds the minty-fresh flavored chlorhexedine delicious.

Keaton's too cool (or too big) to go all the way inside the covered litter box to do his business. He will lean out of it and endeavor to preserve what is left of his dignity. I can always tell when it's going to be number 2 because he purses his lips with effort as he eliminates.

God I love that cat.

Frankie Young offering delicious coffee

In Ithaca, there is a wonderful little Faux Coon named Frankie, who lives with Madeleine and Kenn Young at The Inn on Columbia. When we arrived in front of the Inn, she was waiting for us, watching us pull up. Then when we got out of the car, she walked right up to us and flopped over. She is a tiny little thing, very fluffy, with a lovely plume tail.  She also has a more square-muzzled Coon-like face than Keaton does, but I won't hold it against her.  A rescue, she was chosen by the Youngs because she was the only cat they considered who didn't back down when a dog was brought into the room.  The Youngs have a beautiful large German Shepherd, Sophie. Frankie is now around 3 years old, and as Coon as Coon can be -- without a pedigree.

So there it is.  Moggies all, we love our Faux Coons, especially the rescues.  No papers necessary.

Do you want to know if you might have a Coon or Coon mix?  Check out Maine Coon Cat Nation and ask other folks what they think about your keetain.  That is, if you give a hoot about what other people think.

For a great summary of Coontain traits, visit Fanciers.com Breed Facts